How Bridget Jones and Carrie Bradshaw Are Tackling Love and Loss

Love, Loss & Second Chances: Why Rom-Com Heroines Are Widowed Now

Forget fairytale endings — our favourite rom-com heroines are now widows. In Mad About the Boy and And Just Like That , Bridget Jones and Carrie Bradshaw navigate grief, guilt, and dating in midlife, proving that love stories don’t end at “I do.” Charlotte Ireland writes.

IN THE FIRST three Bridget Jones films, the eponymous chaotic heroine has been on a seemingly endless quest to not be single. We have watched her win, lose and secure again the heart of buttoned-up human rights lawyer Mark Darcy. Sadly, the cycle must continue, and in the newest and last instalment, Mad About the Boy , she loses him all over again.

The brand of romantic comedy Bridget Jones belongs to, which came about in the late 1990s and early 2000s, thrives on the chaos of single life, not “smug married” life. Bridget works best when she is self-deprecating, single and searching.

Helen Fielding’s Bridget Jones’s Diary (1996) has been, and continues to be, described as the “urtext” of chick lit – a defining novel from which others in the genre descend.

In chick lit, characters are often navigating the ebb and flow of contemporary female experience, negotiating the challenges of juggling personal autonomy, career, family, friendship and love.

The new film cleaves closely to these tried and tested tropes of the genre. And, in a twist, the film’s writers have killed off Mark Darcy. Fielding’s novel Mad About the Boy (2013) is set several years after Darcy’s death, which occurs when he’s on a humanitarian mission in Sudan.

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Bridget isn’t the first 2000s romantic lead to lose her great love. Fans of Sex and the City watched Carrie Bradshaw lose Big, the man she had pursued with equally wavering success across the show’s six seasons, in its reboot And Just Like That .

While it may be frustrating that the writers felt that they couldn’t tell a story about Bridget or Carrie without making them single, the exploration of dating, friendships and careers has matured in these new instalments. Age, widowhood and a changing dating landscape have introduced alternative narratives – grief, dating with children, across ages and online.

Totally new romantic prospects

Divorce is a familiar theme in chick lit. It can be seen in Jojo Moyes’ Someone Else’s Shoes (2023), Marian Keyes’ Again, Rachel (2022) and even Candace Bushnell’s Is There Still Sex in the City? (2019). Given how frequently divorce appears in chick lit, it’s worth asking: why did Darcy and Big have to die?

Studies show that 60% of people going through a divorce may be open to reconciliation. For Bridget and Carrie, divorce would have left the romantic door open.

Also, as the path of reconciliation has been trodden so many times with these men, there are only so many stories left to tell. New romantic interests would bring new dynamics, new issues to explore and more uncertainty for fans.

Bridget Jones and Sex and the City were pioneering. They featured honest and open discussion of being single in your 30s. They depicted candid portrayals of female sexuality, including discussions about self-pleasure. They showed Bridget and Carrie navigating complex relationships, difficult careers and friendships in a way many hadn’t seen at the time.

Stories of divorce and marriage are common in chick lit. So death, widowhood and middle-age allow the writers of Bridget Jones and And Just Like That to tread new ground for the same audiences in a way they did when they first came out.

Dating through grief and at an older age

Widowed dating brings avoidance, awkwardness and guilt. Bridget and Carrie initially claim they will never have sex again, feeling out of place in the dating world. Yet, there is a palpable sense of interest that makes them go back on this pronouncement quickly.

Guilt follows their first post-widowhood dates, as they sense their late husbands watching: Carrie through flickering lights, Bridget through an owl.

Carrie is told she must date again to give her readers a “glimmer of hope” (and sell more books). Similarly, Mad About the Boy critiques the stigma surrounding older single women.

Both have been praised for their portrayal of widowed dating realities ( And Just Like That ) and as a moving study of grief ( Mad About the Boy ).

Chapter 2, the UK’s only dating app for widowers and widows, found a lack of resources on widowed dating so surveyed over 500 people across the UK who had lost a partner. They found, on average, widows and widowers started dating two years and seven months after their loss. Nearly 50% felt some form of guilt (or as though they were “replacing” or “cheating” on their deceased partner), while only 7% didn’t find it difficult.

Bridget Jones, once a relatable 30-something dater, now reflects the realities of such widowed dating in midlife. Bringing these experiences to a popular, entertaining format sparks conversations about grief, love and second chances – challenging stigmas while acknowledging the complexities of moving forward.

The consistency of friendships

What remains constant in both Bridget and Carrie’s lives is friendship, which studies have found becomes even more vital after loss.

In Mad About the Boy , Bridget’s friends “surrounded [her] like a womb” after Darcy’s death. In And Just Like That , Miranda comforts Carrie in bed, rubbing her back just as Big once did.

“Friends are the family we choose for ourselves”, a phrase often attributed to writer Edna Buchanan, is a common saying that encapsulates the close friendships in chick lit. This is reflected in the “urban family of single friends”, a stock feature of the genre.

These friendships aren’t just supportive — they’re essential to the heroines’ survival and happiness. The message is clear: romantic love may fade, but true friendships endure.

Charlotte Ireland is Associate Researcher in the Department of English at the University of Birmingham. This essay originally appeared on The Conversation and has been republished here under the Creative Commons License.

Not all love stories end in happily-ever-after. Some are left unfinished. Revisit romances that linger long after the last goodbye with these films on OTTplay Premium.

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